The Ice Man
by Leafy08
Summary: Millie drowns her sorrows after a long day and is joined by the cause of those sorrows. My exploration of their relationship from Millie's point of view. Mix Max/Millie
1. Prologue

_A/N I do not own The Bill, sadly... enjoy the story though. Leafy_

'The Ice Man' was what Mel had called him and Millie wasn't sure why she had been so quick to defend him. Well she knew why the conversation had started to begin with, most of the relief knew about her little crush on the stoic man, but not why she felt the need to prove he wasn't the Ice Man. She'd worked with him quite a few times and almost... no... Everything he did seemed to be done in homage to that title. Sitting here now staring into her pint at the lonely bar she wondered if he knew that was what the relief called him and really did try to live up to his title.

Mel and Beth always teased her about her soft spot for him; they didn't see what she saw. They didn't see that there was a kind and compassionate man beneath the ice, locked away tightly, waiting for someone to warm his heart and melt away the frozen exterior. Millie wished desperately that someone could be her. After the day that they'd had, the day that he'd had, with Marek and Pavel Jankowski... she worried that under the cold mask of guiltlessness and self assured behaviour Max was hurting.

Oh sure, they did get a good result today, brilliant in fact. He had talked Pavel down, stopped CO19 from getting a go at him and got Marek put away. But Millie was concerned that he was still trying to make amends for shooting Pavel's father, that he hadn't forgiven himself. She physically ached at the thought that he was hurting. She'd never felt the need to comfort someone more strongly.

But she was a PC. She was PC Millie Brown, who blushed at the drop of a hat. And he was DS Max Carter. The Ice Man.


	2. Righteous Kill

_A/N Sadly, again, I do not own The Bill :(_

Millie sighed softly, letting the sounds of the people at the bar wash over her. It wasn't very crowded today and even the people who were there seemed content to nurture their wounds in peace. Millie wasn't sure exactly why she was there; she'd never been one for drowning in a pint whenever things didn't go her way. But this whole... thing... with Max was different, not that she was even sure she could call it a 'thing'. Normally something had to be more than one-sided for it to be termed a 'thing' and her and Max was definitely as one-sided as you could get.

She doubted the man really paid her much attention at all; she was just ordinary Millie Brown, his subordinate and one of the newest members of the force. There wasn't any hope at all for her if she couldn't find a way to shake her crush. Going in to work every day knowing that he would be there and that he didn't feel the same way about her was really starting to take its toll.

She was in a bar for Christs-sake, the only difference between her and the other punters was she was a young, single girl and they were all old, married men. They were all just as unhappy. This, Millie thought, was definitely one of the low points in her life.

The bell of the door jangled as someone entered the bar. Another sad, lonely person, Millie mused and didn't look up until she heard a distinctive voice from behind her.

"PC Brown?" The voice said and Millie recalled the saying 'speak of the devil and up he pops'. Though in her opinion Max was hardly the devil.

Millie turned around to greet the man who had been occupying her thoughts for the last half hour or so, "Sarge."

There was a slight pause, almost awkward, as Millie studied Max and he try to think of something to say. He was wearing the same clothes as he had been wearing at work that day, but his hair was sticking up as if he'd been running his hands through it repeatedly and his eyes seemed tired and troubled.

"Didn't expect to see you here," Max said suddenly, sounding genuinely confused.

"I could say the same to you," Millie answered with skewed smile. She wanted to go back to drowning her sorrows, but she wasn't one to pass up an opportunity, "Do you want to..." She trailed off and indicated the seat opposite her.

Millie gave a silent prayer of gratitude when Max nodded and seated himself opposite her and waved over a barmaid. As he ordered, Millie stared into her glass, determined not to stare or make a fool of herself. Her silent night of lonely contemplation had turned into something... else. She wasn't sure where this was headed. They might just sit there and drink their beers in silence, they might make small talk for a while, discuss cases, or... well Millie was confident the night would only swing between the first two options. No matter how much she wished it to go otherwise.

The barmaid returned with Max's beer and Millie watched him out of the corner of her eye as he took a long drink. He glanced over at her and Millie's eyes darted away, dancing across the room, eyeing the other drinkers. She clutched at her glass to stop her hands from shaking, she wasn't normally nervous around him, but then she normally only saw him at work, never in even a remotely social setting.

Her reflections were interrupted as her new drinking partner spoke, "What brings you into a bar like this PC Brown? It doesn't seem to be your style."

"Hmm?" She murmured, still staring away from him, "Oh, I just... didn't have the energy to keep up with the rest of the relief tonight Sarge," Another thought crossed her mind, "And it's just Millie. Not at work anymore."

Max nodded. She had held the faintest hope he would ask her to call him Max, a small level of familiarity, but a step up nonetheless. Again, like all her hopes in relation to Max, it was not to be. She finally turned to face Max and was startled slightly to find him staring at her. Her heart thudded excitedly for a few seconds before she noticed the glazed look that was fixed across his blue eyes. Millie's heart constricted at the look on Max's face, so confused, lonely... guilty.

"S... Sarge? Are you okay?" She asked softly.

"What?" Max's head jerked slightly as he lurched back to reality, "Oh, yeah, yeah 'course."

Millie bit her lip. She wouldn't normally press a matter like this. But he had looked so lonely and she was on her second beer, "Sure? Just, you know after the case today..." Millie trailed off, becoming increasingly worried as Max's silence continued.

Millie stared at the table, hoping against hope that she hadn't ruined everything when Max finally answered, "It was quite a day today. So much could have... but we got Marek. That's what counts."

"Thanks to you Sarge. You're the one who found out Marek was wearing the shirt and you talked Pavel around. I just can't... if you hadn't been there..." Millie sighed as Max turned away from her. It was hard to comfort a man who refused to accept he needed it, "Sorry," She whispered.

Max turned back to her and blinked at her, "Don't worry about it Millie," A shiver went down her spine as he said her name, at the way it seemed to roll off his tongue.

"I mean it Sarge. You were brilliant," Millie said, but then again he's always brilliant she thought.

"Hmmph, well, today maybe," Max replied, "Other times... not so much."

Millie was slightly astounded that Max was speaking to her about this. She had expected him to refuse to answer after her first comment, let alone almost start to open up about the events of the day. She considered pushing him further, but a glance at his troubled face was warning enough that some things were best left be.

A glass thumped on the table and Millie was startled out of her thoughts to see Max had finished his beer. He moved to stand up and Millie felt a wave of disappointment wash over her.

"Well, night PC Brown," Max said giving her a brief glance before standing up fully and leaving through the door it seemed he had only just entered from.

That wasn't the way Millie had wanted a conversation between herself and Max to go. But not all wishes came true in the end and Millie was just pleased that she was getting to spend_ some_ time outside of work with him. It was more than she had ever hoped for really. And if maybe, by some small chance, she was able to comfort him in some small way then she was happy and content.


	3. Bail Me Out

_A/N Again, I do not own the Bill or any of the characters. Hope you all enjoy this chapter :) Please read and review! I would really like some feedback on how the story is progressing._

Millie sighed as she entered the bar. Back again, she thought as she took up residence at one of the tables. She motioned for a beer and sat staring at the table as she waited for her salvation to arrive. It had been about a week since she and Max had shared a drink and a brief chat, if you could even call it that, and neither of them had mentioned it. Not that Millie expected him too but, it didn't matter how unreasonable the desire, she wished he had acknowledged it in some small way. Millie laughed quietly to herself, earning her a strange look from the barmaid as she gave her the drink. This bar was her bar for when she was having a tough time dealing with her 'school-girl crush' on Max Carter as her colleagues called it. Mel and Beth were getting irritating sometimes, every time they were with her and they saw the DS, they would giggle and poke her. That was one of the reasons she wasn't out with them tonight celebrating, they had the driver and they had Kirby, it was a good result. But Millie just wasn't bothered by that at the moment. She had just felt pathetic all day thinking about Max while waiting with Liza Armstrong. She was pathetic really.

"This becoming a habit of yours?" Millie jumped slightly and gasped as she spun around to face the speaker.

"Sarge!" Millie hoped she wasn't gaping. Max was once again standing in front of her, still dressed in his work clothes, though this time he seemed slightly less awkward, "I... uh... I guess?"

Max just shook his head and motioned at the seat opposite her with his hand. Millie nodded enthusiastically at first, but managed to rein her momentary joy in. She was never going to get time to wallow in the misery that was her feelings towards Max, was she? Not that she minded. She never minded spending time with him.

As Max ordered his drink, Millie braved the terrifying task of speaking to him. "Why are you here?" Even as she spoke, Millie flinched internally at how antagonistic the words sounded. Luckily for her, he didn't seem to notice.

"I went out for drinks with DC Banks and DC Dasari after the case was wrapped up, just felt like heading somewhere quiet though really." Max said as he stared off into the distance.

"Oh, sorry then." Millie answered, a sad, dejected feeling settling in her stomach. He didn't really want to talk to her was just being... polite. Well as polite as Max Carter could get.

"Hmm? Why?" He asked confusedly, before he caught up with what Millie had said, "Oh, no, I didn't mean... Let me phrase that better. I just felt like heading somewhere where people wouldn't judge me."

Millie turned her gaze to him, pleased that he didn't think that of her and confused as to why he thought others did, "Banksy and Grace don't judge you surely."

"Not openly," was all he said.

They slipped into silence as they continued to drink their beers, Millie's thoughts centred on trying to work out what it was exactly that had prompted Max's last comment. She knew Max didn't really see eye to eye with, well, anyone in CID, but surely, they still respected him and his methods. He was a good copper, slightly intense sometimes, but he got the job done and was objective about it all. Millie certainly respected that about him. Why would Banksy and Grace of all people be judging him? She sighed unhappily as she realised her glass was empty and stared mournfully into the bottom.

She started as a full glass was set down in front of her and she looked up to see Max with a new drink too, thanking the barmaid as she walked away, and Millie smiled.

"Thanks," She said softly.

"Not a problem," Was all he said in response.

"Great result today," Millie whispered, "Like always."

"Yeah, I guess so. It was good to get Kirby finally," Max replied.

Millie's eyebrow scrunched in confusion, "You don't sound particularly pleased."

"We got a result, not that I was much help," Max sighed, "I practically bullied one of the suspects into confessing."

"I doubt anyone thought any less of you Sarge, you did what you had to, what you thought was right. They respect that," She answered.

Max just ran his hand through his hair aggressively, glaring at her, "Not everything's sunshine and rainbows like you think it is PC Brown!"

Millie visibly flinched at his tone and actions. How is it that this man could be human one minute and a monster the next? She was only trying to make conversation, help him even, and he goes and shoves it down her throat? The 'thing' of hers for Max wasn't just going to hurt her; it was going to crush her. She could almost feel tears pricking her eyes. Oh god, don't be even more pathetic, she thought savagely.

She downed the rest of her glass and stood up, "I'll be going then," She said firmly and turned to go.

"PC Brown. Millie, wait," Max said gently.

She looked at him, arms crossed, and he gazed guiltily down at her feet. Millie resumed her seat and watched Max as he opened and closed his mouth a few times. Eventually he looked up at her and met her gaze, he looked forlorn, miserable and Millie felt her heart constrict.

Finally he spoke, "Sorry, it's just been a hard day. I took it out on you. The DCI was on my back all day about getting a result and about my... methods."

"You did what you thought was right Sarge," Millie murmured to him, "You don't give up on something or stop just because you think it's too hard, I admire you for that."

She stopped suddenly and looked down at the table blushing, she hadn't meant to say quite that much. She stared at the patterns of the grain of the table, becoming increasingly worried by Max's silence. She finally gathered enough courage to look up at him and found him watching her, a soft smile on his face. Her heart flipped and she smiled back.

Max shook his head and his grin widened, "I think you've had a bit too much to drink Miss Millie." Her only response was to hang her head further, "I'll call you a cab."

Millie rested her head on the table as Max pulled out his phone to call a cab. She hadn't had too much to drink, but she guessed being in love had almost the same effect. She jumped slightly when Max's hand touched her shoulder.

"C'mon Millie, it'll be here soon," He said softly and Millie stood up and followed him outside. It was a pleasant night, chilly, but refreshing, and breathing in the cold air made her feel more awake and alive as the two of them stood there side by side on the footpath waiting for her cab.

It wasn't long before it pulled up and Max stepped forward and opened the door for her. Millie smiled at him, "Thanks Sarge." Was all she said before the door was shut and Max turned to return to the bar.

Millie grinned widely to herself. Maybe, just maybe, things were looking up for her when it came to Max Carter.


	4. On the Money Smash and Grab

_A/N I do not own the Bill :( Last chapter here, sorry it took so long I've been caught up in school. This also means I probably won't be writing any new stories at the moment._

It had been a week since Millie had been able to find time to head down to the bar that her and Max had turned into their little hide-away. She'd seen him there five times in total now, each time the conversation had become easier and easier, more and more relaxed. Millie felt like she was starting to get through to Max... that he was starting to open up to her about problems, issues, not important, life-changing issues, but normal, everyday issues. And, for Max, that was a big thing.

Their new found out of work relationship hadn't moved to their work environment, they didn't even really acknowledge that an out of work relationship existed. But it was nice to sit there in the briefing room with the mix of CID and uniform while Max snapped and snarled knowing that later that day, or the next, they'd be sitting together in their bar, drinking beer and reviewing the case. The last time they'd seen each other a week ago, they'd even been joking about their respective superiors. But while it was nice, brilliant even, Millie could tell she was falling harder and harder for the DS.

Millie made her way through the doors to the bar, looking around anxiously and hoping that Max would be here tonight. Her prayers were answered when she saw him sitting by himself at their table, beer in hand. She made her way over, grinning already.

"Room for one more?" She asked and laughed when Max glanced up sharply, a glare in his eyes before he recognised her and smiled.

"'Course," He said and Millie sat down opposite him, "You've not been down here for awhile."

"Inspector's been running us off our feet all week," Millie replied as she ordered herself a beer, "What's yours been like? I hear you've been running round accusing uniform of stealing."

Max gave a chuckle, "Just doing my job, covering all the bases. Turns out it wasn't them though."

"No, just some kid that got slipped the money when you were following the suspect." Millie teased.

"Oi, just drink your beer." Was all she got in response however.

They continued to drink in companionable silence in which Millie continued to contemplate her situation with Max. A month ago, she would have never guessed that this kind of situation was even possible. Impossibility seemed to be their... thing.

The rest of the evening and many of their following meetings were spent in a similar fashion. Millie and Max drank in silence and would occasionally talk about work, which mostly involved Millie trying to convince Max that he was, in fact, a good copper. Millie sometimes wished that they could talk about other things or that Max was comfortable enough with her to talk about other things. But she would count her blessings. He could be not talking to her at all.

At work they never acknowledge these night-time drinks and chats. Though her friends were starting to wonder why she kept going to the same bar all the time and had started to ask her if she was seeing someone there. _Technically_, she would think, _I am seeing Max. Just not in the way they think. Or I want._

Millie was happy though. She thought things were going well. Maybe there was something else there between her and Max, something mutual, more than respect, maybe a little less than love. Something. It made her insides squirm happily whenever she thought about the future now. She really thought she had a chance with Max, romantically speaking.

**Until the robbery at the toy store.**

"Look, er, if you need to talk about it... I'm finished for the day." He had asked her. The first time either had acknowledged their chats... discussions... whatever's. She didn't care. She really didn't care.

"Thanks. But, uh, I just want to go home." She had told him and turned away quickly when she had seen his face drop.

"See you tomorrow." He had called out as she left.

That had been two hours ago now. Two hours ago that one DS Max Carter had actually seemed to be trying to get her to open up, to comfort her following a hard case. Not the other way round. But Millie knew better now. Her and Max wasn't a thing, she'd been wrong to ever think of it as a thing. He didn't like her. He didn't think she was a particularly good copper either.

She was a fool. An airheaded fool.

A sob escaped her mouth as she curled up deeper into the cushions of her lounge, an unopened beer on the table next to her. She wanted to forget, just for the night, but lord the taste of beer made her think of Max and the time they had spent together at the bar. Chatting, laughing, offering each other some strange form of comfort. Or so she'd thought. She'd been happy for a time then, thought anything was possible including the stoic DS Carter falling for airheaded PC Brown.

She should have known. She really should have noticed that what she saw in their quasi-friendship was completely different to what he saw. She saw mutual support and respect, but he had made it abundantly clear he only saw tolerance and vague indifference. How did she have it so wrong?

Millie was still curled up on her couch crying silently when her doorbell rang. She burrowed deeper into the cushions and ignored it. Whoever it was could wait.

The door bell rang again, this time followed by knocks. Millie sat up and dragged herself to the door.

The doorbell rang once more just as she was about to open it and she swung the door open.

"What the hell?" She asked angrily at the six pack of beer that was being held in front of her face.

"Peace offering?" Was the response from Max Carter as he lowered the beer.

Millie just stared at him, blinking in an attempt to stop fresh tears from falling. She failed though and a few streaked down her cheek as she made to shut the door.

"Mill... Millie!" He called and stuck his foot in the door, "I'm sorry, I really am."

Millie stopped trying to close the door and Max nudged past her into her apartment, "What are you doing here Sarge?" She asked softly.

"Max. I think you've earned the right to call me Max," He said, "I think you earned that right a while ago."

Millie just nodded and led the way to her lounge room. As they sat down Max handed her an open bottle and she took a long swig and repeated her earlier question, "What are you doing here, Max?"

Millie suppressed the smile that felt like blooming across her face at saying his name. He didn't, she could see him smiling into his own bottle of beer.

"I... you... you've been so supportive this last month. You've been amazing. You are amazing." He whispered, "I couldn't have done any of this without you and I'm sorry. Sorry I said those things about you to Rodger and sorry I didn't listen to you!"

Max was getting worked up now and Millie was a little worried, she'd never seen him this emotional about anything not to do with work. She placed her beer on the floor and rested her hand on his arm, murmuring, "Max.."

"You could have died today Mill and it would have been my fault. I could've stopped all of this. I should've stopped all this..." He trailed off and grabbed the hand that was resting on his arm, holding onto it like a lifeline, "And... and I'm sorry because you deserve someone who isn't such a coward when it comes to dealing with their own feelings."

Millie sighed. It felt like she had been waiting forever for Max to say that. She wasn't sure whether it meant he felt the same way she did or not. But it meant he felt... something. She squeezed Max's arm and smiled warmly at him when he turned his head. He smiled back and Millie whispered, "I forgive you."

Max set his beer down on the table and pulled Millie into a hug, burying his nose in her hair and Millie's grin widened. Not just because things were finally, definitely looking up for her, but because she knew Beth was wrong. He wasn't the Ice Man. He just pretended.


End file.
